I work in a comparatively small area people service group in a small constructing. We’ve got a couple of co-workers, a supervisor and a director. On a couple of events, our supervisor has invited everybody to attend a birthday lunch for one of many three of us.
I like my co-workers, however I reside for my lunch hour. We’re hourly, so not solely should we forfeit our personal time, however we should pay for lunch for ourselves.
I can afford the lunch, however I’ve different plans for my cash (and my time) throughout that hour. I would fairly contribute $5 for breakroom cake. I really feel obligated to attend as a result of it might really feel impolite to my co-worker to bow out. Am I a bitter pickle for not eager to take part in lunch hour birthday (work) occasions?
-D.
Pricey D.,
I agree with you in precept. You ought to be free to make use of your unpaid time nonetheless you need. Conditions like these can get awkward, particularly in small places of work. These occasions might technically be non-compulsory, however they really feel necessary when your absence could be observed.
So no, I don’t suppose you’re being a bitter pickle. The query is, will your co-workers and supervisor suppose you’re being a bitter pickle? They’re those you must cope with every day. And in the event you suppose they’ll suppose you’re being impolite by refusing to attend, you’ll must determine whether or not you’re OK with that.
If this have been a bigger workplace the place these occasions occurred a number of occasions a month, setting a restrict could be crucial. Common attendance might take an enormous toll in your time and finances. Not attending in that state of affairs could be simpler, in fact, as a result of your absence wouldn’t stand out as a lot in a much bigger office.
Your attendance is much more noticeable given that you just work in a small workplace. However the vivid facet is that since you’re a small workplace, it sounds such as you’re solely being requested to attend three birthday lunches a 12 months.
You’re clearly apprehensive about hurting a co-worker’s emotions. May or not it’s simpler to easily sacrifice three lunch hours and the price of three meals a 12 months? I hate that managers put their employees in these uncomfortable conditions. However perhaps it’s value taking part to protect your office relationships, on condition that these are comparatively uncommon occurrences.
But when that is necessary to you, I don’t suppose there’s something flawed with politely declining to attend. You might say one thing generic like, “I’ve so much occurring proper now, so I gained’t be capable to make your birthday lunch immediately. However I hope you have got an exquisite birthday!” You might even present your sincerity by utilizing the $5 you’d be keen to chip in for breakroom cake and shopping for them a birthday card as a substitute.
You might additionally attempt to begin a brand new custom. Clearly, it might be cheesy to attempt to change issues proper earlier than a co-worker’s birthday. However perhaps subsequent time your birthday rolls round, in case your supervisor suggests a lunch in your honor, you might say, “I do know everyone seems to be busy and lots of people are on a finances, so let’s skip the birthday lunch. However I actually admire the type provide.” Possibly your reasoning will catch on.
Or if nobody’s birthday is within the close to horizon, you might e-mail your boss and colleagues and recommend changing the lunch outings with cake. You may give the identical reasoning: Persons are busy, and everybody’s grappling with rising prices proper now. It wouldn’t shock me in case your co-workers don’t precisely reside for these workplace celebrations both.
I actually hope that any supervisor studying this can be aware of your dilemma. What can look like a enjoyable workplace celebration will be taxing on staff. Rethink any office occasions the place attendance is kind of anticipated in case your employees has to make use of their very own money and time to take part.
For you, what this boils right down to is how a lot you care about what your colleagues suppose. You’re not doing something flawed by declining these invites. However there’s the likelihood that your colleagues will suppose you’re being stingy together with your money and time. You can also’t management different individuals’s opinions.
For those who are inclined to agonize about what others suppose, rocking the boat might not be value it. Your lunch time is efficacious. However we’re speaking about three lunch hours a 12 months. If taking a stand prices you a lot extra hours of worrying about whether or not your colleagues suppose you’re a jerk, it’s not value it.
Robin Hartill is an authorized monetary planner and a senior author at The Penny Hoarder. Ship your difficult cash inquiries to [email protected].
